A note to remember

I want to start with a conversation I had with my father many many years ago. When I was young, I used to tell my father that I would grow up to do many things. I had many dreams. I dreamt of being an astronaut, a chef, or even a kungfu warrior. One of the dreams I had though was to marry a handsome prince like the one i read in cinderela story. My father had a different point of view. He said “Dear.. you don’t marry a man just because he’s handsome. You marry a man who can be a good partner for you in the many ups and downs of life”.

After having spent the past 27 years watching my parents and how they lived their marriage, I began to understand.

I saw them live their lives through the ups and downs. I saw how my Dad and Mum were there for each other whenever one needed the other, I watched them build their careers together, i watched them make money and lose money together… and more importantly, I watched them raise a family.

In the many times that I would say hurtful things to my father or my mother, I would watch them take turns to console one another. My parents don’t know this… but it is from them that I learned the meaning of marriage. Marriage is not about romance or not just about love. It’s about having someone who will always be there for you through the ups and downs of life… and it’s about finding happiness.

I have imagined that moment all my life. I would be standing somewhere up during my wedding in front of my closest family and friends and giving this words. The only part that was missing in my imagination was who the person standing next to me would be. That moment came at 14 October last year, a man whom now i have been calling him “my husband”, and to my eyes, he is handsome.

Growing up, ZN and I were taught that we should be perfectionists in everything we do. From our studies, our work and yes… eventually find the perfect somebody and have the perfect wedding to start a perfect marriage.

That didn’t work out. ZN and I are very far from a perfect couple. He’s not tall as many dream guys a girl can wishes for, and I’m fat, well at least i’m far from that barbie body any guy would have wished for. He’s forgetful, and I have a bad temper. I often falls sick once every two weeks, and he has that gastritis problem with him that occurs every day. We annoy each other almost every day… but somehow in the weirdest way that I nor the universe can understand… we make each other happy.

ZN and I have been together for almost a year now, and till now each and every day together is like an adventure. Not a day goes by where we don’t make each other laugh or smile. In these hundred of days passed by we learn about the good and the bad we have in each other. We learn to treasure the good and embrace the bad….

We are one of the most imperfect couples out here… but we think we’re perfect for each other. So that’s why we’re here today, feeling good to one another.

When I look back in life, so many things had come together to bring us to where we are today. I owe a great deal to my father and mother who have been to me the best parents any child on this Earth could ever want. My Dad taught me how its okay to make mistakes in life, but to never let the mistakes keep you down. My Mom taught me to be kind and forgiving to others. Together they taught me to be humble in whatever I do.

In raising me, my parents never asked that I score straight As or have a successful career or make a lot of money. Their only wish was that I grow up, to be a good person. Mom and Dad, I hope that after 28 years of my life, I am as good a person as you want me to be. I promise to care and love you both for the rest of my life.

From that day 9 months ago I no longer have just 2 parents. I am blessed enough to have 4. My new parents, uncle and aunty Mr and Mrs ZBS who also my late parents in law, it was for the first time that day i called you Dad and Mom in law in my prayers. My dad and mom in law, you have both done an amazing job raising ZN and I can only wish that I will be able to raise my future son as well as you have raised my husband. I know how you loved ZN and how high was your hope and expectation to him.  So i thank you for trusting me taking care of him up there. I promise that for as long as my heart beats, I will take care of him.

My last thanks goes to my sibling. To my sister, Fan Sally, thank you for always being around and for putting up with me. There are no better sibling to grow up other than with you.

To my brother and sisters-in-law, ZRS, SKBFS, SDDS, ZAS, RA, KG, MPD, RT… I know we started off like strangers, but thank you for opening up yourself to me and be not only as in laws, but also as new sisters and brothers.

To husband, our courtship but the beginning of a new adventure. Yes just like any adventure, it will have ups and downs. But from now on we will always have each other to laugh together in the good times and cry together in the bad. What matters is that I care so much for you and I know that we will make each other happy.

So my dear hubby…. our Adventure is out there.

My Dream Guy

Assalamualaikum =)
 
Kadang-kadang ramai orang suka bertanya soalan-soalan am seperti ‘Apa ciri-ciri lelaki idaman anda?’ Jawaban yang diberikan selalunya cliche ataupun bergantung kepada siapa idola anda saaat itu. Contoh jawaban cliche adalah seperti ini. Lelaki idaman saya mestilah beriman, hensam & kaya. Beriman mesti disebut dulu sebelum ciri-ciri yang lain-lain supaya kelihatan islamik dan tidak nampak terlalu mementingkan harta. LOL!
 
Jawaban mengikut idola pula adalah seperti ini. Saya harap lelaki idaman saya bermuka sweet ala-ala Korea, tinggi, berkulit putih, berambut gel acak dan pandai menari mengikut lagu SuJu…. haissh..obviously girlfriends.. you are talking about Choi Si-Won of SuJu! 😀
 
In case kalau kalian pernah bertanya, Dear MF, can you describe your dream guy?
 
Yeah sure, hari ni aku akan describe more or less about my dream guy. Kalau kalian merasa sungguh unrealistic ini perempuan punya demand, just chill la. Judulnya aja My Dream Guy. Of course la in my dream aja kan hahaha. Aku bebas menggunakan kuasa imiginasi aku tanpa batasan. Ok bukannya tanpa batasan. Still berlandaskan syariat islam (jawaban nyari selamat) haha! 
 
letscekidautyaw!
 
1# A Man in suit
 
Blazer safari ala PNS? aku gag suka. I want a good-looking guy with a hot smoking body in a fine, expensive suit! Eh maksud elo seperti David Beckham? Yes!, if i were Vicky Becks, i wanna whisper to his ears ..OMAIGOD YOU LOOK SO HAWT MON CHERRY HUSBAND.. WOULD YOU DANCE WITH MEH, LETS JUST DO THE GHETTO STYLE OR ZAPIN =’) Hahaha
 
Tapi most of the time, a suited guy looks good only if he’s tall & has a toned body.
 
2# A Man who goes jogging
 

Kalau lelaki bangun awal pagi untuk jogging, dari situ aja kalian bisa nebak bahwa kemungkinan dia type yang berprinsip & berdisplin. Ok mungkinlah dia bukan ketua kelas semasa sekolah dulu. Tapi betul la, lelaki yang pergi jogging buat aku rasa dia tipe bertanggung jawab (apa coba.. hahaha) Lagipun, aku sangat suka lelaki yang jaga kesehatannya.

3# A Man who does the groceries
 

Ini adalah ciri-ciri yang impress me the most! Like seriously, aku sangat sangat sangat sangat in love dengan lelaki yang gag malu melakukan kerja perempuan. I mean semacam pergi beli groceries sama-sama, dia yang dorong trolley, dia yang pilih toilet paper, dia yang pilih telur, dia yang timbang cabai berapa gram….owww sweetnya!

4# A Man who cleanses his face
 

Aku suka lihat  lelaki yang ada kulitnya bersih. Tak perlulah glowing, putih kinclong, gag ada scar alias flawless hehe. cukup bersih bebas minyak dan jerawat:p

5# A Man who holds his child
 
 
Needless to say, a man looks like a true hero to me if he holds the baby on one side and hold his wife’s hand on the other side. Aku rasa, lelaki nampak sangat ‘lelaki’ kalau dia lagi gendong anaknya atau holding his child hands, sebab it shows us his soft-spot. Which I find it very lovely indeed =’)
 
 
6# A Man who can lead the prayer
 
 
Ini aku bukan sok islamik tapi serius deh hai kaum wanita, kita pasti masang standar calon suami kita wajib bisa lead kita dan anak anak kita sholat kan?. Baca yassin sama-sama setiap malam jumaat. Bisa tolong ingatkan aku supaya jangan lewat-lewatkan solat.
Serius seperti rasa siap masuk surga kalau dipimpin suami soleh teehee:D
 
Lagipun emangnya gak rasa awkward ke kalau the head of the family himself can’t lead the prayer?
 
Well thats all from me. No offence okay lelaki-lelaki out there 🙂  I was just being random.  Apa yang kata saya ok belum tentu ok buat kalian. Oklah bye.
 
Thank you for reading this entry !
 

Pilih mana?

Sering saya perhatikan, sebuah fenomena menarik di Indonesia.

Di restoran cepat saji, semacam McDonalds, KFC, Burger King dll, sering kita lihat konsumen meninggalkan mejanya dlm kondisi berantakan setelah makan.

Lalu petugas datang menghampiri meja tersebut utk membereskan

Di luar negeri (di US terutama), di restoran cepat saji yang sama, kalau kita meninggalkan meja dgn kondisi kotor kita akan dipelototi. Yg umum di sana adalah setelah makan kita bawa nampan berisi sampah makanan tersebut dan membuangnya dlm tempat sampah yg disediakan. Tempat yg samapun tersedia di restoran cepat saji di Indonesia

Di Starbuckspun serupa.

Bahkan kalau saya membereskan meja dan membuang sisa minuman yg ada di meja saya ke tempat sampah, baristanya tergopoh2 berterima kasih sambil buru buru membersihkan.

Di luar negeri (di US terutama) isi bensin dilakukan sendiri oleh kita. Di Indonesia ada petugas yang membantu kita mengisikan. Ditambah senyum dan ucapan “dari nol ya..”

Di beberapa kesempatan, teman saya yang lama berada di luar negeri (di US lagi lagi) setiap kali cuci mobil di automatic car wash di Indonesia malah bingung karena setelah keluar dari automatic car wash ada 5 petugas yg ngelapin mobil..

Apakah makna semua ini?

Di Indonesia konsumennya yang manja atau perusahaannya punya servis yang baik?

Pilih mana?

 

Good

Since Ramadhan 2011, life hasnt been the same.

Its like my life now has a destination, and along with it, a map and a limitless fuel

I go where i want and i do what i like

Somewhere between failure and success, i gain knowledge

The more knowledge i posses, the more it helps me form an idea and make a decision

The better the idea and decision, the better the outcome

Right now, the outcome i get, is fair.

I get praises just as much as i get criticism

Like i said, its fair.

I dont dwell on my criticism

It doesnt matter much. What you think about me, is your own intepretation which may or may not be true

What you say about me, doesnt define who i am, it is just an image that you project to other people about me. As far as we all know, your projection may be biased, distorted or even, fiction.

I am defined by the actions i take.

Im 28 now, and i have no plans of slowing down.

I have more act to take

My definition is still taking shape

Overall, i feel good

 

Recent update

Life can be very surprising at times. I left 2011 with a very sad memory of missing my favourite man, my Dad, whom was away far for medical reason; then ended it by marrying my other favourite man, my now husband.

By far, being married is fun, yet jeopardising and also surprising. Sometimes I feel I have trasformed into a stronger person, where I now have to live independently  more than I have thought I can do it before. You know, I was 4years away from home to studied abroad in SUNY Albany, bu there, I got so much helped from my friends, wanted to buy books, just call the seniors and they would lent theirs, wanted to go shop for groceries, just called a friend and he/she would accompany me to walmart or big bear, wanted to clean the apartment, it was a serviced one, wanted to clean the clothes, just dropped the laundry to a near by laundry shop around the corner, wanted to eat chinese, thai, mexican just dialed and the delivery boy came in 20minuets, I even got catering of Indonesian food from the wife of a friend who studied in the same campus, she made a delicious tempe and handed to my apartment door!…. So,anyone who hears that now I do all the simple house chores  myself, would have say I took the biggest unprepared decission in my whole life, by marrying my husband. Well, yes I can not deny I grown up by receiving services for my needs almost 24/7, but now, I can prodly say I can do our own bed, boiling water and pour him tea, making him breakfast (only a pair of toast bread and cheese wtf), brooming the floor, wiping the mirror, ironing the clothes though some of the times I also burned my hands FML, brusing the toilet (eeww)… and all the housewifes job:) Gees, my mother must have been super proud of me if she sees me now*proud to self, standing ovation in honor for me please* LOL

Anyway..
People love to share the best part of marriage. I’m not gonna do the same thing. Not now, at least. I just want to tell you all one downside of being married for woman: say good bye to night cream 😉