I want to start with a conversation I had with my father many many years ago. When I was young, I used to tell my father that I would grow up to do many things. I had many dreams. I dreamt of being an astronaut, a chef, or even a kungfu warrior. One of the dreams I had though was to marry a handsome prince like the one i read in cinderela story. My father had a different point of view. He said “Dear.. you don’t marry a man just because he’s handsome. You marry a man who can be a good partner for you in the many ups and downs of life”.
After having spent the past 27 years watching my parents and how they lived their marriage, I began to understand.
I saw them live their lives through the ups and downs. I saw how my Dad and Mum were there for each other whenever one needed the other, I watched them build their careers together, i watched them make money and lose money together… and more importantly, I watched them raise a family.
In the many times that I would say hurtful things to my father or my mother, I would watch them take turns to console one another. My parents don’t know this… but it is from them that I learned the meaning of marriage. Marriage is not about romance or not just about love. It’s about having someone who will always be there for you through the ups and downs of life… and it’s about finding happiness.
I have imagined that moment all my life. I would be standing somewhere up during my wedding in front of my closest family and friends and giving this words. The only part that was missing in my imagination was who the person standing next to me would be. That moment came at 14 October last year, a man whom now i have been calling him “my husband”, and to my eyes, he is handsome.
Growing up, ZN and I were taught that we should be perfectionists in everything we do. From our studies, our work and yes… eventually find the perfect somebody and have the perfect wedding to start a perfect marriage.
That didn’t work out. ZN and I are very far from a perfect couple. He’s not tall as many dream guys a girl can wishes for, and I’m fat, well at least i’m far from that barbie body any guy would have wished for. He’s forgetful, and I have a bad temper. I often falls sick once every two weeks, and he has that gastritis problem with him that occurs every day. We annoy each other almost every day… but somehow in the weirdest way that I nor the universe can understand… we make each other happy.
ZN and I have been together for almost a year now, and till now each and every day together is like an adventure. Not a day goes by where we don’t make each other laugh or smile. In these hundred of days passed by we learn about the good and the bad we have in each other. We learn to treasure the good and embrace the bad….
We are one of the most imperfect couples out here… but we think we’re perfect for each other. So that’s why we’re here today, feeling good to one another.
When I look back in life, so many things had come together to bring us to where we are today. I owe a great deal to my father and mother who have been to me the best parents any child on this Earth could ever want. My Dad taught me how its okay to make mistakes in life, but to never let the mistakes keep you down. My Mom taught me to be kind and forgiving to others. Together they taught me to be humble in whatever I do.
In raising me, my parents never asked that I score straight As or have a successful career or make a lot of money. Their only wish was that I grow up, to be a good person. Mom and Dad, I hope that after 28 years of my life, I am as good a person as you want me to be. I promise to care and love you both for the rest of my life.
From that day 9 months ago I no longer have just 2 parents. I am blessed enough to have 4. My new parents, uncle and aunty Mr and Mrs ZBS who also my late parents in law, it was for the first time that day i called you Dad and Mom in law in my prayers. My dad and mom in law, you have both done an amazing job raising ZN and I can only wish that I will be able to raise my future son as well as you have raised my husband. I know how you loved ZN and how high was your hope and expectation to him. So i thank you for trusting me taking care of him up there. I promise that for as long as my heart beats, I will take care of him.
My last thanks goes to my sibling. To my sister, Fan Sally, thank you for always being around and for putting up with me. There are no better sibling to grow up other than with you.
To my brother and sisters-in-law, ZRS, SKBFS, SDDS, ZAS, RA, KG, MPD, RT… I know we started off like strangers, but thank you for opening up yourself to me and be not only as in laws, but also as new sisters and brothers.
To husband, our courtship but the beginning of a new adventure. Yes just like any adventure, it will have ups and downs. But from now on we will always have each other to laugh together in the good times and cry together in the bad. What matters is that I care so much for you and I know that we will make each other happy.
So my dear hubby…. our Adventure is out there.